Friday, March 25, 2016

Curse.

If I said that "I didnt miss you"
I lie.

How come aku tak rindu kan dia sedangkan dah 7 tahun my feeling towards him still the same or maybe, aku termakan sumpah dan janji aku sendiri pada dia
which is,

"Saya takkan suka sesiapa sampai bila bila melainkan awak"
"Saya cuma suka awak je sampai bila bila"

Aku pernah cakap kan tu dekat dia, and yes sampai sekarang tak ada siapa pun yang boleh gantikan tempat dia. It has been 7 years.... and my hearts, my feeling still same.

Like what that I've said to him before,

"Takkan ada orang pun boleh ganti tempat awak"

Dan sekali lagi, aku seperti termakan sumpahan aku sendiri. Huhuhuhu. aku tak interested langsung dengan any guys dekat sini mahupun dekat luar melainkan orang tu artis. Hahahaha

And aku pernah cakap juga dekat dia,

"Saya suka artis je lol"

and now, aku terus terfikir balik semua kata kata yang pernah aku cakap dekat dia. Seolah olah aku termakan sumpahan aku sendiri. Hahahaha.

Semalam, dengar lagu Aishiteru - Zivillia. Lepstu rindu nak tengok Cinta Melody & Cinta Kirana. Dan bertambah rindu dekat dia yang kini milik orang ☺
I wonder, what would he react, if he know that I still love him, and I still waiting for him to come back?

But the truth is, he will never love me back and accept me back. I'm nobody. I'm nothing. There's no "precious thing" from me that will make him love me back....
I'm not like hers. I'm nobody.

Cakap lah, banyak mana pun aku tak suka dia, aku benci dia aku dah tak ada hati dekat dia. But the truth is, I still. I do have feeling towards him. And Allah's know everything inside my heart.

Kalau aku cakap, "aku dah taknak tunggu dia"
Sebaliknya hanya mulut aku je yang berkata. Tapi hati aku? Sometimes I dont understand with my own feelings. Sumpah. Selama ni hanya mulut aku je yang cakap itu ini. Tapi hati aku taknak buat semua tu.

I've growing up. And I need to change my feeling towards him. No more waiting for him. But... my heart wont let me to do that.
Allah.... siksa sangat rasa mcm ni.
If he really my future, pls let me know.
If he isnt, let my heart and my mind forget everything about him

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